Fountain of Youth

Our previous encounter was brief. Although we had been separated by years in time and thousands in miles, in her arms once more, I felt that time had not passed and I was again wanting for nothing. I am reminded that romantic love does exist, a feeling that dwells inside, laying dormant, waiting to be awakened by a rare special person who radiates an overpowering beauty from deep within. The crossing of our paths may again be brief, but like taking a sip from the fountain of youth, it has left me with an awakening and revitalisation that will be everlasting.

Probrammed Cellular Evolutionary Theory

This is an idea from a dream I had last night that I thought I would share.

A programmed deliberate decision of a living cell to act beyond the control of the mind for the purpose of survival of the living thing and or species within which it is located. This decision of the living cell can include a decision and ability to change the living cell.

This theory does not support the idea that evolution is a product of random mutations that happen to benefit the survival of a species and are somehow of a scale that can change a species through natural selection.

The idea of Programed Cellular Evolutionary Theory is based on deliberate cellular changes in response to changes in the environment whatever those changes maybe. A type of programing that can respond to an infinite number of environmental challenges.

This idea sits more comfortably with Creation Theory than a Random Mutation Theory. Life seems to be too incredible to be based on accidental random physical and chemical processes. It seems there must be another dimension to the lives of all living things beyond our present consciousness.

Flight or Life Simulator

Too much of my thoughts are consumed by my internal automatic life simulator. My life simulator continuously predicts infinite permutations of future negative life scenarios and then how to recover from those negative scenarios before crashing to a fiery death.

I would much prefer if my thoughts were instead consumed with imagining wonderful future life scenarios turning out perfectly.

Why Do we Choose the People We Choose?

Its been a long time since my last post. I suppose I feel that I have successfully rebuilt myself. I feel I am in control of my life and the lives my children who are growing into wonderful little human beings.

But I am posting because I am having trouble sleeping and I feel that getting things out of my head and into the world might help me sleep.

My exwife is still a drug addict but she is in prison now so our lives have been stable for awhile and as I have suggested I feel that I can deal with anything that life and her can throw at us.

Anyway the purpose of my post is to explore why we choose the people we choose. In my case and in the case of someone I know I feel this was greatly influenced by low self esteem. A feeling that this person is the only person and there is no other choice and then you have babies with that person. Well that of course is just plainly the wrong way to chose a partner.

We do have choice and for a happy life it is vital that we understand that and make our choices knowing that the world has many many wonderful people in it and many of those people can be the right choice and lead to lives of immense happiness, stability and secure love. What an awesome setting that would be to raise children in.

Anyway so what I take from these thoughts is that it is extremely important to do my best to instil in my children a sense of high self esteem and also resilience as well as of course the love and acceptance that I feel that I am already teaching them through living our lives. I want them to be able to move on from the wrong person and be confident in finding the right person.

Baby Fur Seal

She was a blind baby fur seal walking blissfully into a dark forest of physcopathic wolves.

Party of LIfe

Sometimes I feel that life is like being at a party that I must attend but I would prefer to be somewhere else and I feel that trying to be happy and polite at the party is sapping all of my energy.

Positve happy future

Counting ones blessing pass with and A

In the present probably a B

Having confidence and optimism that something is going to turn out well Big Fail. Constantly worry about something going wrong or turning out bad with any planned event. Looking for and finding all the possible worse case scenarios.

This is your problem! You need to fix it fast to have a happy life and be the best possible example to your children.

Example when surfing imaging that big waves and rips and sharks may be the end of me or that when speaking in front of people I will say something terribly wrong. Also there is sweating and powerful heartbeat, something deep inside needs fixing. Might not be easy or is that just a negative thought?

Childhood Friends

It is increasingly concerning me that my children do not seem to have friends. I do not why or what I can do.

Goodbye

Goodbye girlfriend. Thank you for sharing your life me. I wish you a wonderful life.

Envy

Envy, you have often been near whispering into my ear. Sorry that I rarely acknowledge you, I suppose it is because I am embarrassed by you. I can not think of a positive contribution that you have made to my life and I can not think of positive contribution you may make to my life in the future. So to I must say that this is goodbye forever. My good friend admiration will fill the void you leave behind. Goodbye

Confidence

Hi confidence. I have always felt your strong presence in the back of the crowd but I haven't had much of an opportunity to have a chat and get to know you. This has been my fault because I have been so occupied by melancholy and fear. Anyway, I now have plenty of free time and so would really like to get to know you. Wow, I really like you smile and bright eyes........

Fear

Goodbye fear. We have been so close since the day you entered my life when I was 11 and a half. You have done quite a good job of keeping me alive and safe. Our relationship however is just not going well. Although you may have kept me safe you have not made me feel safe. That has not been your fault, it has been mine, for clinging to you so desperately. Now that I have realised this I will cling to you no longer. This goodbye is not forever. I will continue to call on you to keep me safe and alive as much as you are able to do that. But our relationship will be different. I now have the strength to be in control of you instead of you being a wild turbulent force flooding over me. This will be better for both of us. You can get some well earned rest and I will just call on you when you are actually needed instead of in every circumstance of my life. Bye

Melancholy

Goodbye melancholy. We have been close for a long time and it has been comforting to know that you have always been there for me. But I feel that it is time for me to let you go. Do not worry, it is not goodbye for ever. I have no doubt that we will meet again from time to time throughout my life. Its just that life is short and it is time for me to explore other feelings and it is difficult to that with you there all the time. Bye.

Relationships

Look at relationships differently. More with your heart than your head. Think less about reward for effort think more about if it just feels good.

A Spectacular Life

Is to be surrounded by beautiful minds and hearts that allow you to be beautiful.

Flower Girl and Arrow Boy

Riding our bikes to Nanny's house. Jasmine has filled her basket with rose petals collected from Nan's rose bushes. As we ride she throws rose petals making a rose petal trail all the way from Nan' house to Nanny's house. Luke has a bow and arrow on his back. On the way home we see a chicken crossing the road. Luke grabs his bow and arrow and takes aim.

The Kiss

"You may now kiss the bride". This is when the transformation occurs. Close you eyes and kiss and when you open them you are married.

An Amazing Life

When does life become amazing? When is it not?

Respect

I will balance respect for myself with respect for others.

Dead or Alive

Be dead or be alive do not be the living dead.