Can't Sleep

I can't sleep because I am pissed off and that is making more pissed off. I had a belief that when you are pissed off it is actually derived from being pissed off about a failing in yourself incorrectly directed to some other external event.

I have also viewed anger as a negative emotion that should be ignored and replaced with a positive emotion. I have also rationalised the situation like "at least you have your health........ it could be much worse ....etc".

But fuck, there are simply evil, stupid, selfish people in this world that its seems justifiable to hate. I am also pissed off that they can invade my mind with negative thoughts of anger and hatred. Also there are terrible injustices in this world that justify anger.

I know these feelings will pass but I want them to pass more quickly. I am hoping that expressing them on this blog will help them pass more quickly and allow me to sleep and return to my normally pleasant and interesting dreams.

Monopoly Of My Life

If my life were a game of Monoply the last card I drew would have said "Your wife becomes a drug addict. Give her all your money and return to Old Kent Road and stay there."

I Am Tiny I Am a Giant

It is strange how being in an immense Tokyo crowd or alone on an isolated beach in Western Australia both give me a sense of my minuteness in time and space and yet also my enormity in the worlds of my children. I can not simply disappear into the crowds or the sands.

Honourable Japan

I recently returned from a trip to Japan. There are many great things to say about Japan but I think the greatest thing is the culture. The people of Japan are so good and honourable and respectful. Although the cities are endless masses of concrete with enormous populations and we sometimes walked late at night from train stations in long underground walkways, I never once felt the slightest concern for our safety. Big city does not equal dangerous city.

My 8 year old daughter beautifully described the masses of people descending the stairs of a train station as an "avalanche of people". The greater metropolitan area of Tokyo has a larger population than the whole of Australia!

Beautiful Sunset in Hell

Can there be a beautiful sunset in extreme poverty or war?

Missing the Point

We get caught up too much in the detail of life and by doing so we miss the point. I'm not exactly sure of what the point is but I am sure that it is centered around love and happiness.

Simply Good

I stood in a loose circle with the old Sicilian school gardener and two other fathers. We warmed ourselves by sipping the Sicilian's homemade vegetable soup from old ceramic bowls.

I felt an intense feeling of happy contentment as I viewed the new height adjustable basketball hoops that we had just spent the morning assembling.

The hoops will give happiness and health to many children for years to come. This small group of men sought no reward but were grateful for the tasty warm soup. There were no hidden corporate motives and as there were no woman present there were also no subconscious sexual motives.

It was all simple and good and the Sicilian's strong faith contributed to creating a quite Biblical scene in my mind.