Flight or Life Simulator

Too much of my thoughts are consumed by my internal automatic life simulator. My life simulator continuously predicts infinite permutations of future negative life scenarios and then how to recover from those negative scenarios before crashing to a fiery death.

I would much prefer if my thoughts were instead consumed with imagining wonderful future life scenarios turning out perfectly.

Why Do we Choose the People We Choose?

Its been a long time since my last post. I suppose I feel that I have successfully rebuilt myself. I feel I am in control of my life and the lives my children who are growing into wonderful little human beings.

But I am posting because I am having trouble sleeping and I feel that getting things out of my head and into the world might help me sleep.

My exwife is still a drug addict but she is in prison now so our lives have been stable for awhile and as I have suggested I feel that I can deal with anything that life and her can throw at us.

Anyway the purpose of my post is to explore why we choose the people we choose. In my case and in the case of someone I know I feel this was greatly influenced by low self esteem. A feeling that this person is the only person and there is no other choice and then you have babies with that person. Well that of course is just plainly the wrong way to chose a partner.

We do have choice and for a happy life it is vital that we understand that and make our choices knowing that the world has many many wonderful people in it and many of those people can be the right choice and lead to lives of immense happiness, stability and secure love. What an awesome setting that would be to raise children in.

Anyway so what I take from these thoughts is that it is extremely important to do my best to instil in my children a sense of high self esteem and also resilience as well as of course the love and acceptance that I feel that I am already teaching them through living our lives. I want them to be able to move on from the wrong person and be confident in finding the right person.

Baby Fur Seal

She was a blind baby fur seal walking blissfully into a dark forest of physcopathic wolves.

Party of LIfe

Sometimes I feel that life is like being at a party that I must attend but I would prefer to be somewhere else and I feel that trying to be happy and polite at the party is sapping all of my energy.

Positve happy future

Counting ones blessing pass with and A

In the present probably a B

Having confidence and optimism that something is going to turn out well Big Fail. Constantly worry about something going wrong or turning out bad with any planned event. Looking for and finding all the possible worse case scenarios.

This is your problem! You need to fix it fast to have a happy life and be the best possible example to your children.

Example when surfing imaging that big waves and rips and sharks may be the end of me or that when speaking in front of people I will say something terribly wrong. Also there is sweating and powerful heartbeat, something deep inside needs fixing. Might not be easy or is that just a negative thought?

Childhood Friends

It is increasingly concerning me that my children do not seem to have friends. I do not why or what I can do.

Goodbye

Goodbye girlfriend. Thank you for sharing your life me. I wish you a wonderful life.