Hotel California

A loud Australian voice behind me shouted "If she asks you to buy her a drink tell her to fuck off!!!"

I turned in my bar stool and saw a thin middle aged Pakistani looking man. His pointy rat face with greasy course black hair looked sinister and deviant. His long arrow of a nose divided his greasy overgrown moustache.

Could the voice had been his? I expected a cruel whispery voice from such a man. If it was him who was he talking to? Not the red lipsticked Indonesian girl sitting next to him with fatty flesh squeezing from her tiny red dress.

Smooth soft spider legs rubbed against mine. I turned to see a pretty face with eyes that had the power to see the strong primal sensations she was sending through me. Hotel California played just loud enough for an excuse to talk closely.

My Birthday

Amazing luck!! I had a great time surfing Kuta Reef on my birthday. A few days later I was checking out the Baliwaves website and noticed that the surf report for 21 March was from Kuta Reef. I had a look at the photos from the report and many were of me!! This is one of those photos. The chances of being photographed for this very popular website on my birthday are just so incredible that I feel that some devine intervention must have been involved. I think about my father at times like these. If it was you thank you for the most amazing birthday present.

A Big Old Tree

Yesterday I was going to write "Am I enlightened? No way. But I am more enlightened than yesterday and yesterday I was more enlightended than the day before ..." But now the night before my 40th birthday I feel I do not know anything. I feel that I am like the weather. Endlessly drifting around the globe and constantly changing with no known purpose. At the mercy of chaotic influences from the solar system and beyond. How I long to be a big old tree. Firmly rooted to the ground and secure in my purpose of constant growth.

Tom Jones

While I was waiting in the customs line I noticed that Tom Jones was standing right next to me! I said how are you going? He smiled and said good.

A Horrific Ending

Its been more than 100 days since rain has touched the dry hot sands of Perth. One by one the tiny ant bodies succumb to dehydration and pass away. The once prosperous colony is slowly dying.

But then a long distance scout returns. As he lay exhausted and near death he speaks of a far off place of moisture. Hope quickly spreads though the colony.

Scouts and workers set off to the place of moisture. After 2 days the ants peer out of a narrow crack into a brightly lite room. Close to them is an immense shiny structure out of which an enormous drop of water is released every three seconds.

The ants trip over in excitement running to the water. Then too late they realise they are standing in the wrong position. The immense drop lands on two ants. One is immediately carried away in a torrent down a black hole. The other with the help of his friends manages to find grip on the slippery ceramic surface and is frightened but safe. They peer down the black hole but there is no sign of their friend.

There is no time to mourn. They quickly establish a supply route carting water back to the colony. Every few hours they loose tens of their friends as water gushes and giant hands sweep them down the black hole. This is a sacrifice they make without question for their colony.

Days pass and everyone settles into their new routine.

Then an unnatural looking container emitting a sweet smell is noticed next to the supply route. The same scout who found the water investigates. A jack pot of sugar is found with some granules so large that it takes ten ants to carry them. The delicious granules are quickly transported back to the colony for a feast worthy of a great celebration.

The smiling laughing faces soon turn to faces of horror as the screams of their friends pierce the laughter. Quickly the laughter is replaced with screams of agony. Ants are deliriously running around bumping into each other. Horrifically their tiny torsos are collapsing before death releaves them of the unimaginable pain.

The hero scout ate last. He looks out over the tens of thousands of tiny gnarled bodies. He falls to ground wanting death to quickly take him away from this horror. As he lay there the smell of rain enters his nostrils and he screams.

Strip Joint

After way too much beer I visited a strip joint with friends last night. The raw basic interplay between man and woman was very interesting. The women hypnotised the men into giving them money using sensual rhythmic movements. I'm quite sure these women then used the money to buy their sparkly impossible to walk in shoes which were never removed. A neat little cycle of supply and demand.