Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Have I now resolved everything? You thought that if you resolved that and that and that you would have no excuse to be unhappy or worried. You have now resolved these things. What is left to not be happy or worried about? On top of all of this you have found an amazing girl who is perfect for you and wants to marry you.
Fear of putting control of my life into the hands of another. I am scared that you may not be the perfect person that you show to me. I want to see behind your polite facade. I want to feel what you feel when you are curled up crying in your bed. I want to know all of you.
Do I need to be fearful of giving away my power to have a serious relationship? This maybe my problem not the problem of relationships. Maybe personal power does not need to be given up in a relationship and in any event risk is an unavoidable part of living. I should not fear risk in living. To not risk anything is to lose everything.