Saturday, October 6, 2012

Party of LIfe

Sometimes I feel that life is like being at a party that I must attend but I would prefer to be somewhere else and I feel that trying to be happy and polite at the party is sapping all of my energy.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Positve happy future

Counting ones blessing pass with and A

In the present probably a B

Having confidence and optimism that something is going to turn out well Big Fail. Constantly worry about something going wrong or turning out bad with any planned event. Looking for and finding all the possible worse case scenarios.

This is your problem! You need to fix it fast to have a happy life and be the best possible example to your children.

Example when surfing imaging that big waves and rips and sharks may be the end of me or that when speaking in front of people I will say something terribly wrong. Also there is sweating and powerful heartbeat, something deep inside needs fixing. Might not be easy or is that just a negative thought?

Childhood Friends

It is increasingly concerning me that my children do not seem to have friends. I do not why or what I can do.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012


Goodbye girlfriend. Thank you for sharing your life me. I wish you a wonderful life.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012


Envy, you have often been near whispering into my ear. Sorry that I rarely acknowledge you, I suppose it is because I am embarrassed by you. I can not think of a positive contribution that you have made to my life and I can not think of positive contribution you may make to my life in the future. So to I must say that this is goodbye forever. My good friend admiration will fill the void you leave behind. Goodbye

Tuesday, July 24, 2012


Hi confidence. I have always felt your strong presence in the back of the crowd but I haven't had much of an opportunity to have a chat and get to know you. This has been my fault because I have been so occupied by melancholy and fear. Anyway, I now have plenty of free time and so would really like to get to know you. Wow, I really like you smile and bright eyes........


Goodbye fear. We have been so close since the day you entered my life when I was 11 and a half. You have done quite a good job of keeping me alive and safe. Our relationship however is just not going well. Although you may have kept me safe you have not made me feel safe. That has not been your fault, it has been mine, for clinging to you so desperately. Now that I have realised this I will cling to you no longer. This goodbye is not forever. I will continue to call on you to keep me safe and alive as much as you are able to do that. But our relationship will be different. I now have the strength to be in control of you instead of you being a wild turbulent force flooding over me. This will be better for both of us. You can get some well earned rest and I will just call on you when you are actually needed instead of in every circumstance of my life. Bye


Goodbye melancholy. We have been close for a long time and it has been comforting to know that you have always been there for me. But I feel that it is time for me to let you go. Do not worry, it is not goodbye for ever. I have no doubt that we will meet again from time to time throughout my life. Its just that life is short and it is time for me to explore other feelings and it is difficult to that with you there all the time. Bye.

Monday, July 23, 2012


Look at relationships differently. More with your heart than your head. Think less about reward for effort think more about if it just feels good.

A Spectacular Life

Is to be surrounded by beautiful minds and hearts that allow you to be beautiful.

Flower Girl and Arrow Boy

Riding our bikes to Nanny's house. Jasmine has filled her basket with rose petals collected from Nan's rose bushes. As we ride she throws rose petals making a rose petal trail all the way from Nan' house to Nanny's house. Luke has a bow and arrow on his back. On the way home we see a chicken crossing the road. Luke grabs his bow and arrow and takes aim.

The Kiss

"You may now kiss the bride". This is when the transformation occurs. Close you eyes and kiss and when you open them you are married.

An Amazing Life

When does life become amazing? When is it not?

Wednesday, February 1, 2012


I will balance respect for myself with respect for others.

Dead or Alive

Be dead or be alive do not be the living dead.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012


Frustration equals the distance between who I am and who I want to be.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

African Mumma Butt

African bubble butt mumma. So natural with her brood of small children. Skinny Asian girl and guy. Their baby seems like a foreign object disrupting there personal skinny butt life.

Happy Passing Time

It seems I maybe happy now. Why is that? Has so much changed? Maybe not much on the outside but quite a bit on the inside. Looking out over the departure lounge. So many people noisily checking in and moving around. Couples, families and singles. I have previously checked in as all three! I can live anywhere as anyone anytime.

I could be happy as a single fat 60 year old with a bad limp and a Thai hooker and white hair sticking out the back of my singlet. I could be happy as a dad making his beautiful baby girl do beautiful baby girl giggles. I could be happy as a 50 year old well dressed cold business man. I could be happy as a 40 year old with a 30 year old smiling girlfriend on his arm. I could be happy as a 41 year old sitting here by myself, thinking, passing time waiting for my flight.

100% Happy

The water was the same temperature as the air around, 29 degrees. The water was blue but clear. There was no wind. The waves were small but the shape was better than average. My girlfriend was surfing nearby. She was surfing without my help now. A short time before we had made amazing love. She was very happy. We often smiled across to each other. I was 100% happy.

choosing a better life for both of us

I am making you unhappy because of the difficulties of my life involving my exwife and kids. I am a caring type person who wants to make people happy. If i am making you unhappy then I feel terrible. That is not the life I want. I want to be happy and make the people around me happy as much as possible. I do not see this changing except getting worse when we have a baby. I can not give the attention that is needed. I will be run off my feet and still not making people happy I do not want to choose that life. I believe that my life could be much better and I hope someone can make you more happy than I can and give you the things you dream of.