Lovers and Fighters

Today was a big day for me because I had a mediation conference to settle financial assets with my ex-wife. It was a very interesting experience because it gave me such an insight into human characters. My ex-wife is a fighter and I am a lover. The fighter must feel they win the battle, in this case financial settlement. The lover acts from love and does not see a battle. The lover did not feel bad about getting less financially, the lover feels good that he knows he needs nothing. The lover feels lucky that he will always be surrounded by love and a little sad that the fighter will always be surrounded by fighting.

But this was not my darkest day and the darkest is probably yet to come

The rain drenched my cold skin as I rode my bicycle through the rain already late for work.

Sitting on the cold train platform I ponder how I could easily throw myself in front of the next express train rushing past as so many have done before me. It would be an easy end to this suffering. But my destiny, I hope is a long one. There will be much more suffering to endure and much more happiness to experience.

To give happiness to my children and to guide them to a happy life. Its what every parent wants and I am alive and can do it. I also must remember that I can not make them happy if I am not happy. I could only give them safety and a calm logic. They would benefit from more and so would I. What a lovely symbiotic relationship of happiness.

Old faces on the train. What are the memories behind them? What are the memories you want behind your old face? Obviously as much happiness and love as possible. ( Diary entry July 2008)

The World is Beautiful

Sometimes it doesn't seem to be. But it is :)

More to Learn

I feel strangely contented by the realisation that there is more to learn than could ever be learned.

Healing Air

I inhaled heavily through my nostrils. I tasted the fresh air as it entered me and spread throughout my mind and body healing every cell. I felt at home amongst the Kangaroos, birds and lizards.